A Heavy Heart

As I was laying in bed this morning and watching the snow fall outside my window I was craving to have Aaron by my side to be enjoying the peacefulness of the first real snowfall of the season. Tomorrow will mark the 2nd week that he has been gone. They first week is actually week 0, it doesn't even count toward the 8 weeks he will be gone. It sure counted to me. I miss him like crazy and every single day feels like a lifetime. Living without my husband has been difficult I feel like I'm 18 again and venturing out into the world without anyone by my side, timid to do things by myself and cautious to venture too far outside of my front door. It's like I lost my right arm, I don't exactly need it but I feel like I am having to relearn how to do everything all over again. You never realize how much you depend on someone till they aren't around anymore. He's just gone and everyday I feel like I'm just waiting around for him to come back.
I hope things will go back to normal and that I lose the feeling of just waiting around. I hope my motivation to get stuff done will return very soon. School will start next month and I will have plenty of no time to sit around and worry about it.

As unhappy as I may be in moments and how heavy my heart may feel I know it will ONLY be for a short amount of time in the long run of things. I have plenty of things to keep me busy and I get to eat whatever I want right now without Aaron yelling at me for having cereal for 2 out of the 3 meals of the day. I know I am beyond blessed to be married to my soulmate and best friend. I have a wonderful support system with my family and his as well. Aaron is an amazing husband, brother, son and friend. I am so proud of him for sacrificing his time away from friends and family to create the future that we want for ourselves and our future family.